Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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