did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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