Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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