Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
