How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
