So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
