I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
