I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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