you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Panties = found
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
