I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
