I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
