Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
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