can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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