when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
