4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
A bitchslap is in order.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
