i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
