bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
