Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
