That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
