Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
