I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
