Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize