the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Randomize
