hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
i need some magic done to my vagina
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
