yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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