I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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