Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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