So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
i now understand why vodka
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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