Yo dont text me then not text me
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
