I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
