We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize