I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
