i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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