He is such a slut. More and more my type.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
