I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
