Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
