He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
