its not stalking. its research.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
