While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
