so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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