all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
