That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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