we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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