did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
