Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
