my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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