just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
