Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
