You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
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