We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
