You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
