what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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