she kept yelling 'call me bella'
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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