When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
