waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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