Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Couch. On fire.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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