I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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