The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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