who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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