he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
