Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
