too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
