My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Randomize
