I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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