I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
